...Everything.

It's been a bit since I've blogged and I have a lot on my mind. It's probably best if I explain it in list form because this shit is heavy.

• Going through the appeal process for disability is for the birds. I have a disability lawyer so hopefully this time it'll not be denied because it's not just my physical body that's broken, so is my mind and there isn't enough therapy in the world to fix that.
• My Charcot foot is worse. Much worse than in June when I last spoke about it. Surgery is definitely on the table now, it's the matter of getting it all set up with a date and whatever else they need for this process. Not going to lie, I'm scared shitless. Partly because if this doesn't work, I can lose my leg entirely. Partly because I got shit to do and the recovery time is going to SUCK since I won't be able to do anything for at least 2 months. That possibly includes streaming and editing work. Which brings me to...
• I need help. I'm leaning on my friends and family, but they're stretched thin themselves so there's going to be a point where they can't help anymore and I'm up a creek. As little as disability payments would be, this would be a huge help. But until then...

The Sage Fam needs your help.

For those who are coming here from social media but aren't familiar with me and mine, we're a queer family; my wife is a trans woman and my kid is non-binary. I'm non-binary myself. We all have varying needs and disabilities that are barriers to work. My wife suffers from seizures and was even fired from her last job because of them (something about bringing down morale, I shit you not). She's currently being treated for them and may need brain surgery to keep them from happening (which is a whole other thing adding to my stress). I'm a diabetic who can't seem to get my blood sugar to regulate no matter what is done. This is why I have the foot problem now; it ran too high for too long. Now the opposite is being the problem. So much so that I don't feel bad until I get to the 50's. I was able to work but due to this and being in a boot for almost 9 months, no one will hire me. They won't say it obviously, but I wasn't born yesterday.

Ultimately, my only way to get some kind of income is through video editing...and the kindness of community. I've been leaning on community heavily as much as I don't want to because editing for anyone else but myself (and my wife, who's also a content creator and actually makes money off her content, but it's not nearly enough) hasn't come to fruition yet. I want to do that. I just need at least one person to give me a chance.

How can I help?

Helping is not just monetary; it's sharing posts as well. I'm even open to resources to help get my editing career take off so that if disability falls through again, I can be self-sufficient. But in the meantime, we have to eat.

Ko-fi: https://ko-fi.com/daruniasage

Cashapp: $namakyori

Venmo: @poweredbycaffeine

Once again, helping is not only through money, but sharing this blog post, sharing resources, and even giving moral support is part of how community and mutual aid works.

Other than that, I think I'm done here for now. Hopefully one day it won't be all doom and gloom, but today, unfortunately, is not that day.